Fearfully and Wonderfully Made!

I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows if very well.   ~Psalm 139:14     

I have a bad-mom confession.  I occasionally compare my children to each other.  I sometimes compare them to other children.  I see their faults and short-comings more often than I like.  I become frustrated when my daughter talks too much or wants to chat with strangers when we're in a hurry.  (She is social like her dad.)  And I recently said to my husband, "You realize that Mr. J has all of our worst personality characteristics?"  Doesn't like to be hugged?  That's from me.  Can hold a piece of chewed food in his mouth for hours if he doesn't want to swallow it?  That's from my husband.  Picky eater?  That's from me.   Quick to be frustrated?  That's from me.  Stubborn?  Well, that's probably from both of us.  My point is that I  sometimes have these terrible thoughts, and I have been convicted.  I was reading Psalm 139 and realized that comparing, looking for the negatives, or nit-picking is probably a slap in the face to God.  HE made these beautiful and unique children.  Just the way HE wanted.  It is only my job to love them and to help guide them as they grow.  Not shape them into something I want or try to will away their "bad habits" or more challenging personality traits.

So, this week, I spent more time looking for the positives.  I saw Mr. J putting together twelve-piece puzzles by himself.  I didn't even know he could do that!  I watched him easily finish patterns without blinking an eye.  Miss M performed in a local Nutcracker production and was amazing!  She even made a "cast list" for us to perform a small Nativity show for Grandma and Grandpa and was already planning costumes and dialogue.  Will Mr. J ever be on stage?  Not likely.  Will he learn to chew and swallow food in a timely manner?  I hope so.  Will Miss M be an engineer?  Probably not.  Will she learn that sometimes it's best to say nothing at all?  I hope so.  But I will love them no matter what they do in life, no matter what their personality quirks are, and I will continue to praise God for giving me such fearfully and wonderfully made children!

Giving Thanks

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for that is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.  1 Thessalonians 5:16

Miss M unknowingly caught my attention this week when she was having some free art time and misspelled the card she was making.  I'm so used to seeing the word "Thanksgiving" that I often gloss over the true meaning, even at this time of year.  But when I read what she had accidentally written, I immediately asked myself, "For what have I GIVEN thanks?"  I asked myself if I was giving God thanks for everything or just the things that I liked?  It's easy to thank God for all the good things in life.  Thankfulness for the good stuff rolls off our tongues so easily.  And grumbling rolls off the tongue just as easily.  Probably more easily some days. 

Am I thankful for the times when my children are at each other's throats?  No. 

Am I thankful for the times I'm disorganized and can't seem to keep on top of any single project I've started?  No. 

Am I thankful when my car won't start and we're late getting somewhere?  No. 

Am I thankful for children who wake me up in the middle of the night for various reasons, keeping me from getting a full night's sleep?  For several weeks?!?  No. 

Am I thankful for expensive medical tests and doctor's visits that are straining the budget to the breaking point?  No. 

Should I be thankful for all of these things?  YES!  I should be thankful my children are healthy enough to fight with each other.  I should be thankful that God has everything under control, even when I don't (and also that there will be no paperwork in heaven.)  I should be thankful that I even have a car to drive.  I should be thankful that my children like to snuggle with me, even if it's in the middle of the night.  I should be thankful I live in a country where medical care is so accessible. 

Because I am a sinner, I know that most days I'll probably still grumble more than I'll rejoice, but I pray God will continue to help me see the areas of my life where I've given thanks and the areas where I still need to. 

We can learn like this...

or like this...

or like this...

  
Miss M is as bright as they come (this is my professional and motherly opinion), but she has had her learning struggles like many children do.  Reading has been a frustrating challenge for her. Timed fact tests in math send her into a frozen state of fear.  Handwriting has also been a struggle.  So, I try to find the learning potential in any situation to help her as much as possible.  And it's so enjoyable to watch her improve in all areas.  Her reading and handwriting are improving, mostly due to the extra help she's received from a dear friend and learning expert, Mr. D.  He's encouraged her to use learning strategies to help her stay focused and better track the words on the page.  I don't time her fact tests every time.  I let her lie on the floor to finish her math.  She sits on the futon to practice her reading or spelling.  We dance around and sing a lot.  If she wants to play with toothpicks in the kitchen with her brother, that's fine with me.  On her own she practiced counting out a hundred toothpicks...for fun! 

I have noticed that when the television and the computer are off, the kids can easily find constructive and educational things to do.  (Of course they fight and drive each other crazy, but that's educational, too.)  I am as guilty as any other parent of using electronic devices as free baby-sitting, but I'm trying more and more to encourage unplugged time.  Their play is fascinating to watch.  They can be different cartoon characters, act out stories with cars and trains, pretend to be a vet or a policeman (or woman!), act like animals, or pretend to be hurt or unhappy and have things "fixed" again.  I want my kids to stay kids as long as possible.  And I truly feel that constructive and creative play is one of the best ways to help my kids wade through the more difficult (and sometimes frustrating) educational "stuff" they need to know in life (math facts, what an adverb modifies, how a silent final e works, etc.)  So, at our house, sometimes we're working, and sometimes we're playing.  But we're always learning. 

 

Play is often talked about as if it were relief from serious learning.  But for children play is serious learning.  Play is really the work of childhood.  ~Fred Rogers

This is why we do it...

There are a thousand reasons to school at home, but this is one of my favorites.  A lunchtime snuggle with Daddy!  He works twenty-four hour shifts and often needs naps when he's home.  He was gone over ninety hours this week between work and EMS classes he was teaching.  He misses his kids when he's gone, and they miss him.  So, I don't mind letting Miss M take a longer lunch break if it means she can snuggle up with her daddy on the couch.  They are like two peas in a pod, two sides of the same coin.  And they need their time together.  Miss M and I can do her math on Saturday (and we have!) if need be.  We can finish up our English at four o'clock if that's what works best for our day.  We can do two social studies lessons in one morning if we missed one the day before.  That's why this school plan fits our lives.  Some may consider this to be haphazard or disorganized.  Maybe it is.  But I prefer to look at it as fluid and flexible, a way to make room for real life.  A schedule is important.  But so is a daddy's hug.

ABC Bible Verses

Instead of listing the Bible verse each week, I'll just edit this page and add the verses as we learn them!

All we like sheep have gone astray.  Isaiah 53:6

Be kind, one to another.  Ephesians 4:32

Children, obey your parents, for this is the right thing to do.  Ephesians 6:1

Do not fret or worry.  It only leads to harm.  Psalm 37:8

Every good and perfect gift is from above.  James 1:17

"Follow me," said Jesus, "and I will make you fishers of men." Matthew 4:19

God is love.   1 John 4:16

Where is the other kid?

I realize most of my posts are about Miss M.  That's mostly because she's a second-grader and doing "real" school work.  Mr. J has been a bit of a challenge for me.  He knows lots and lots of information, but he's not ready for formal schooling yet.  When Miss M was his age, I could pick up any book, read it to her, and then we could discuss the characters, setting, history, plot, etc.  She wanted to make crafts and pretend to be characters.  We could listen to music and paint our feelings.  She learns well through literature and discussion, so that was easy for me when she was four.  Mr. J has a comlpetely different learning style.   He doesn't want to sit at a desk and practice writing letters.  And he definitely isn't going to sit down and paint his feelings for me.  He is a linear thinker and totally a hands-on learner.  He is frustrated easily when things don't go the way he feels they should.  He needs a lot of transition time between activities.  So these are challenges for me because I still need to keep Miss M on task.  Should I force him into Miss M's learning mode and frustrate everybody?  No. 

So I am learning to adapt.  It is one thing to know young children (even up through third grade!) should be learning mostly in a hands-on manner, but it is an entirely different experience to have a child who is not going to do it any other way.  He is completely content to stay downstairs and play with his train tracks all morning or watch videos of trains plowing through snow set to Miley Cyrus music (who are these people that make YouTube videos???)  But I want him to interact with Miss M and I and feel like he's not beling left out.  And I want him to know that learning is fun

This week, I moved all the puzzles upstairs to the classroom.  We pulled out all the pattern blocks.  He brought up some trains and cars.  Well, he takes those everywhere.  We sang songs and danced the Hokey Pokey.  I am gathering as much information as possible to help me with this early childhood teaching that I've taken on.  {Special thanks inserted here to Grandma M for her awesome list of ideas!} He had a great time playing with us, and he even asked one night if he could come play puzzles with us the next morning.  And when I heard him say, "Wow!  That's a really cool trapezoid!" while playing with the pattern blocks, I knew we were on the right track for the day.

Lesson Learned:  My children are amazingly different, and for that I'm thankful!  They learn differently, their personalities are different, their needs and challenges are different.  These differences are shaping the way I teach and interact with each one.  These differences are pushing me to be a better teacher and mom.  Thank you, God, for these unique little human!

The Substitute

Miss M needed some encouragement to work on her independent reading, so we set a twenty book goal, and she's been working diligently on it.  I'm hoping it will help her build confidence as a reader.  One of her favorite characters is Miss Nelson.  So, she's been plugging away at the books.

Miss M had her own substitute this week, and he was MUCH better than Viola Swamp.  The kids and I all came down with something this week, so Dad volunteered to be the substitute teacher one day when he was home from work for a few hours so I could rest.  (Thanks, Honey!)  Dad did a great hands-on lesson with Miss M on the three states of matter.  They studied ice, water, and steam.  She helped him boil water on the stove.  He taught her words like "freezing point" and "boiling point".  It was a good lesson.

Lesson Learned:  
Did Dad and Miss M do everything I would have done had I been feeling 100%?  No.  Did any of my lesson plans get followed for the day?  No.  Did Miss M learn something and have a great time with her dad?  Yes!  Did they bond?  Yes!  Was he a great substitute?  YES!  Was he better-dressed than Viola Swamp?  Certainly!

The kids are my full-time job right now.  I am with them so much that I have a hard time knowing how not to be with them, how not to be in charge.  But I'm learning.  And I'm so thankful for the substitute partner I have to help me along the way.